Monday, January 9, 2012

:::twenty:::twelve:::

you know when your browsing the internet and a website you are trying to load is having difficulty loading and all you have to do is press that wonderful little refresh button to make it all better?  wouldn't it be nice if we could do that with life, love and relationships?   well since you can't... that's where resolutions and goals come in...right?
it's a new january, in a new year and i'm hoping that with sky high goals and a new perspective, this new year can bring a new, better, me.
so far....
beach house still melts my heart {the good kind of melty} and still satisfies my cravings.
forgiveness was always something i was good at... but maybe not so much any more? 
i have new eyes that see new things... at first i didn't like this new set of eyes, but i think i'm beginning to appreciate them. 
strange to say, but until last year, it was always so much easier for me to judge others and to think that i knew what was best for everyone, or to question another person's actions, when i didn't quite understand.  it's strange how life can change perspective and how you can see things completely different than you had before.  i no longer desire to question others and now know, that i have no clue what others are thinking, feeling, going through or what is best for them.  so instead, i will choose to listen, accept and be supportive...because i know i could never fully understand and i don't really need to.
i've set my goals high and i am going to reach them, no matter what.
nothing compares to what my family brings to my life, mind and soul... i feel so blessed to have such a unique connection with them and will always, always hold that close to my heart.
i've always known there are very few things you have control of, which has been hard for me at times... but now, i'm ok with not having control over those things... and i'm ok with trying to focus on what i do have control of. 
life isn't easy.  love isn't easy.  nothing, really, is easy.  although there may seem like easier ways to go about things, as always, i choose the more challenging route and i think i will continue to do so...
last year brought a lot of hurt, change and disappointment to all areas of my life.  this made me so much more sensitive and insecure than i had ever imagined i could be, which inevitably layered my heart with loads and loads of calluses. this year, i plan to shave down those calluses, layer by layer, and slowly try to feel again.
sacrifice is key.  less is more in the end...right???
now that i have found an amazing gluten free pancake recipe, gluten free is officially my new way to be and i'm going at it right...
one.thing.at.a.time.
major crafting may only happen at two places, for now.  1}at home {in boise}, with family.   2}at work with br.  although these restrictions apply...there are loads of crafting that will take place this year.
i've found myself pondering my purpose...and i like where this question has taken me.
i'm really enjoying this go home every couple of months thing... can't seem to get enough, so i think i'll keep it up. :)
i'm expecting a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows, days i feel productive, days i feel that i've fallen behind, to feel good about myself, to feel bad about myself, to want more, to be frustrated and everything else that comes with life...but most of all, i hope that by the years end, i feel happy with how i handled what life gave me and who i have become.

{wish.me.luck}

1 comment:

  1. Ashley I adore you! What an amazing, strong, compassionate and truly wonderful person you! I am so grateful for your example, your strength and your unfailing zest that you attack life with. Thank you for you my dear friend! You truly make life sparkle in every way! Love you! April

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