oh is your heart still mine for sale?

it is very likely that from now on, june will be my most hated month.  it was always one of my favorites.  
summer is almost half way gone and not one moment was enjoyed.
a song i loved and listened to on repeat {but had never read the title to} turned out to be just another heartbreak. 
who will i begin to be, i wonder?   only emptiness enters my mind.
maybe red will change things for me?
but i still want the same things.
i'm not ready for any of it yet and i'm sorry.   

a certain kind of death

is it strange to say that right now, i honestly think i would feel better dead?  don't worry friends, this isn't a call for help.  i'm not going to do anything stupid.  it's just how i feel.  and right now i feel like being honest.

i guess it really is true... sometimes love just isn't enough.